#9 – Lets Punch Racism in the Face

Posted on December 2, 2011 by


If there’s one thing THAT woman on THAT tram has shown us, it’s that racism is more of a problem in this country than we would care to admit. I was disgusted with not only the contents of the clip but with myself also, for finding the racist woman slightly attractive.

In Sepp Blatter’s mind, I’m sure the whole thing could have been easily sorted out by getting everyone on the tram to shake hands as they were exiting – “Racism’s very bad, lets leave it on the tram lads eh?”

That’s what’s so unbelievable about Blatter and what he’s said recently. I actually kind of admire his complete obliviousness to the magnitude of his comments. To be the head of the administrative authority, of the biggest sport in the world, and casually say that there is no racism involved within it, that takes balls.

This is a man who, regarding Women’s football, has been quoted as saying, “Woman should wear tighter shorts and low cut shirts… to create a more female aesthetic and attract more male fans” – I actually understand where he’s coming from with this statement, its smart, but racism is very bad.

This season has seen a sprinkling of high profile racist incidents. Patrice Evra accused Luis Suarez of levelling racist abuse at him during the recent Liverpool versus Manchester United game. Since the incident, Suarez has been charged with racially abusing Evra, which has led to some interesting reactions from the world of football.

I’m a huge fan of Gustavo Poyet, both as a player and a manager. He likes football played in a certain way and has very expansive and exciting ideas about the evolution of the game. As a very forward thinking man it’s a shame that he is, well, kind of okay with racism in football.

Poyet said that he suffered years of abuse in Spain, due to being from South America, and never moaned about it, unlike Patrice Evra. Well maybe you should have Gustavo, ever think of it like that? He’s almost accusing Evra of not being man enough to take it.

Poyet’s defence of Suarez’s is a very Alf Garnett style, my granny is a bit racist because black people and Asians where second class citizens when she was younger, so she doesn’t know any better…. Yes she does, your Granny is a racist…I know plenty of old people, some in their 30s, who aren’t racist.

Suarez is a 24 year old man who has spent the best part of 3 years in Holland, which is very much an ethnic melting pot. He knows the difference between right and wrong no matter what country he grew up in. In Uruguay, we are told, there is a  different social order and being racist in the UK isn’t the same as being racist over there. What a load of bullshit that is.

Treating someone differently because of their ethnicity or the colour of their skin is not acceptable anywhere. It’s a known fact that people should only be judged on 3 things…What music they like, what books they read and how attractive their girlfriend is (I’m 3 for 3 by the way).

In my humble and ultimately correct opinion, Patrice Evra deserves abuse on the football pitch but not because he’s black or French but because he, in the words of Pablo Neruda, is a total twat. I would be surprised if Evra’s mum actually like’s him. I mean she probably thinks he’s “alright”, but deep down I think she knows that when he exploited the space down the left hand side of her vaginal canal, that she had given birth to a selfish, egocentric monster. He probably got her ovaries to go on strike before he bailed on them.

Patrice Evra has the air of someone who hates anyone who isn’t Patrice Evra and so, in many ways, he’s his own type of bigot. He will hold your lack of Evravicity against you it seems. The less you agree with him or act like him, the more he will punch your assistant in the face or publicly argue with your kitman. There is also a rumour that his favourite band is Nickleback, his favourite book is The Da Vinci Code and his wife looks…So-So.

If you want to judge a footballer by colour, it should be on the colour of their boots. I loved Alfonso when he played for Real Betis in the late 90’s, mainly because he wore the most amazing, gleaming white boots. He wasn’t the greatest player by any means; although he did play for Barcelona briefly, but his control and footwork made his boots gleam as he lolli-popped down the wing. I should also mention that I also like players with black boots; in fact some of my favourite players have black boots…….

In another example of twatisity, Jamie Carragher wants an Englishman and only an Englishman for the English manager’s job when Cappello leaves. What the fuck does it matter who’s in charge? It should be the best man for the job and that man is clearly:

Steve Kean

Roberto Martinez

Stuart Pearce, yeah Stuart Pearce, that sounds believable.

Psycho would stick it up Johnny foreigner where he doesn’t like it. Stuart Pearce has played at Stoke on a rainy Tuesday Night and won. As far as I can tell that’s the complete resume you need to not only captain, manage and play in or for England but to also win the Ballon d’Or.

What does Jamie Carragher care what the nationality of the England manager is anyway? He’s not getting picked and England will lose whatever tournament they’re in on penalties at the quarter final stage anyway… That’s such an obvious cliché but holy Christ, how I would love to lose on penalties at the PLAYOFF stage of an international tournament, let alone the quarterfinals. (Spoiled)

Anyway, what’s wrong with good old-fashioned Sectarianism? Detesting someone for his or her belief system, which is almost identical to your own, is a more viable reason for hate than the colour of someone’s skin. The great city of Glasgow has given English Football so much over the years, players, managers and the wonderful Andy Gray. If we could give you one piece of advice, it would be to get rid of this racism malarkey and embrace the sweet bosom of sectarianism, that way everyone can be united in their hatred for each other….

…..and John Terry.

You can follow Chris on Twitter @SubSceneRecords.