Browsing All Posts filed under »How To Fix Football«

#9 – Lets Punch Racism in the Face

December 2, 2011 by

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If there’s one thing THAT woman on THAT tram has shown us, it’s that racism is more of a problem in this country than we would care to admit. I was disgusted with not only the contents of the clip but with myself also, for finding the racist woman slightly attractive. In Sepp Blatter’s mind, […]

#8 – Playoffs

November 30, 2011 by

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Leave it for an ugly American to suggest football correct its ills by creating a playoff system, right? But I have an excuse, what with having been conditioned to experience nearly all my sports finales after clubs slog through a post-season playoff scheme that many would consider lessens the importance of playing well consistently over […]

#7 – Let the Fans Manage the Club

November 11, 2011 by

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We’ve all experienced it while in the stands or watching on TV. The manager of your beloved club has decided to play 4-5-1 at home in the derby, and is playing that longhaired clown of a striker up front on his own. It’s a tad, shall we say, frustrating. Every football fan sees them self […]

#6 – Five Steps Towards a Communist Football State

October 25, 2011 by

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In these modern times many people haven’t even heard of the KGB or the Stasi, but they still feel compelled to run around in their Che Guevara t-shirts. Yes, our culture has sunken to the point where history is forgotten, because it can’t be compressed into a 140 character tweet, and because it requires a certain degree […]

#5 – ABOLISH GOALS

October 17, 2011 by

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All-powerful Spain dismantled Scotland on Tuesday night, breaking the withering hearts of a hopeful Tartan Army. The hosts didn’t even require the illustrious talents of Fernando Torres, Cesc Fabregas, Andres Iniesta or Xabi Alonso. Iker Casillas shunned the chance to play, reportedly loath to let the unsophisticated Scotch sully his 100th international cap.  Alicante wasn’t […]

#4 – The Sin Bin

October 11, 2011 by

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The idea that football should introduce the sin bin system, as used in both codes of rugby, is not a new one, but it is a good one. For five years at least people have been arguing that a yellow card should result in a ten minute rest for the guilty party, the Irish FA […]

#3 – Home Grown Players Only

September 13, 2011 by

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Conventional wisdom has it that in terms of a means of employment, football is often considered the best case scenario. There’s a reason every boy dreams of scoring the winning goal in the World Cup final; the extortionate salary, the beautiful women, the company perks, and don’t forget the possibility of an early retirement.